The Highlander

  I don’t know why I find it so difficult to trust God (or very many people for that matter).  I know I should (yikes!  There’s that profane performance word), and I also know that the surest way to please Him is to simply trust Him (Hebrews 11:6).  Heck!  When in my life can I go back and find a time when He ever failed me or did not ever keep a promise?  None.  Now, that is not saying that I cannot go back and find times (many I am afraid), when He did not do what I “thought” He should, or what I felt like He “said” (through some inner impression or outer “word” from some well meaning saint) He would do.  There are more of those than I can remember.  And with each failed experience came a letdown and just a wee bit of confusion.  Why?  Why God?  Why didn’t You___?  I just KNEW You were leading or speaking!  Why!?  Silence.

If I am honest, my life has not turned out anywhere like I thought, dreamed, or planned that it would!  How about yours?  It seems like God has frustrated all of my “plans/dreams” at every turn.  I am not where I thought I would be at this point in my life in any area…period.  I do not have it all together, and I find that I now have more questions than I do answers.  I am less sure about more, and more sure about less.  Looking back, I realize that I have spent more time in “speculations, controversies, and questions” ( 1 Timothy 1:4; 6:4-5; 2 Timothy2:23), than learning how to simply love and live loved by Father.  (more…)